What Is The Jewish View?

"Just as divorce frees her to marry, so does death."

REMARRIAGE By Maurice Lamm: Unlike other religions, the Torah expected remarriage, as a matter of fact: "Lest he die in battle and another marry her" (Deuteronomy 20:7); "Then this latter man... writes her a bill of divorcement... or the man who married her last dies" (Deut. 24:3). 

 

IS THIS CLAIM REALLY TRUE ? 1 Corinthians Ch 7, Teachings on Marriage: ”To those who are married I have a command, and it is not from me but from the Lord: a woman is not to separate herself from her husband  But if she does separate herself, she is to remain single or be reconciled with her husband. Also, a husband is not to leave his wife. (vv10-11 + Crossref. To Hosea 2:16).

Christian Bible: Malachi 2:16 "For I hate divorce," says the LORD, the God of Israel, "and him who covers his garment with wrong," says the LORD of hosts. "So take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously."

Hebrew Bibles: Malachi 2:16 ”If you hate [her], send [her] away, says the Lord God of Israel. For injustice shall cover his garment, said the Lord of Hosts, but you shall beware of your spirit, and do not deal treacherously.”

Our Sages differ concerning it in tractate Gittin (90b). Some of them say: If you hate her, send her away with a bill of divorcement, so that she can marry someone else.

But this - is it proper to do, that you spread your cloak over her to keep her for you as your wife, and you provoke her and torment her constantly?

If a person hates his wife he should either come clean with her and divorce her, or else remove the hatred from his heart (cf. Rashi ad loc. & Gittin 90b).

”He who hates his wife should divorce her, says Hashem, God of Israel! He covers injustice with his garment, says Hashem, master of Legions! Guard your spirit and do not commit betrayal.”

A man who insists on retaining the wife he hates is concealing his dislike, as if covering injustice with his garment. You should at least divorce the wives you dislike so that they should be free to remarry (Rashi).

 

CHRISTIAN BIBLE, Teaching based on Deut. 24:1-4: Matt. 19:3,9 "Some Pharisees came to Jesus, testing Him and asking, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason at all?" "And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.

Matthew 5:31-32 "Furthermore it has been said, "Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.'But I (Jesus) say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery." 

Mark 10:11-12 ”And He said to them, "Whoever divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her; and if she herself divorces her husband and marries another man, she is committing adultery."

 

CODE OF JEWSIH LAW 10:1 A man may not remarry his ex-wife if she was married to another man in the interim: ”If a man marries a woman and lives with her, and it will be that she will not find favor in his eyes, for he found in her a matter of immorality, and he wrote her a bill of divorce and presented it into her hand, and sent her from his house, and she shall leave his house and og and marry another man, and the latter man hated her and wrote her a bill of divorce and presented it into her hand, and sent her from his house, or the latter man who married her to himself will die – her first husband who divorced her shall not again take her to become his wife, after she had been defiled, for it is an abomination before Hashem. You shall not bring sin upon the Land that Hashem, your God, gives you as an inheritance” (Deut. 24:1-4).

PERMITTED MARRIAGES By Aryeh Citron

 

VIOLENCE, ADULTERY, IMMORALITY... When is it time to get a divorce? The Talmud cites three opinions: The School of Shammai rules: A man should not divorce his wife unless he discovers in her an immoral matter...

The School of Hillel holds: [He may divorce her] even if she burnt his meal.

Rabbi Akiva says: Even if he found another more beautiful than she.

(All three opinions derive from the same verse in the Torah --Deuteronomy 24:1--in the section dealing with the laws of divorce, depending on how a key phrase in that verse is interpreted.)

The halachah (final legal ruling) follows the opinion of the sages of Hillel. But pious behavior (midat chassidut), which holds itself to a standard "beyond the letter of the law," is to accept the stricter criteria put forth by the disciples of Shammai.

In other words, a "divorce" is justified if there is actual damage to your well-being and deprivation of your needs. If you find yourself wed to a life that nightly burns your supper, fouling or depriving you of your material nourishment or spiritual nurture, the Torah understands and condones your decision to sever that relationship and seek a better "marriage."

That is the "letter of the law." But a more altruistic approach states that unless your current situation in life spells a violation of your ethical, moral and religious values (in which case even the sages of Shammai permit, indeed obligate, a dissolution of the marriage) the place to be is the place where you are (When To Get Divorced By Yanki Tauber). 

 

AUDIO: Marriage and Divorce: When G-d instructs us on how to get divorced, He is demonstrating the qualities we need for a good marriage. He wants us married and to the very person to whom we are married. Yet if you can't do it, He personally supervises the divorce. 

 

"So is he who goes in to his neighbor's wife no one who touches her will go unpunished... And if he is found,.. he must give all he owns. One who commits adultery with a woman is devoid of sense; one who would destroy his soul-he will do it (the lewd act). He will find wounds and disgrace, and his reproach shall not be erased, for jealousy shall arouse the husband's wrath (the jealousy of the Holy One, blessed be He), and he will not have pity on the day of vengeance" (Prov. 5:29-34). All he will face is bitterness and disaster... (Prov. Chs 10-11).

Modesty: http://www.torahblogg.net/91218691

 

Why does G‑d tell you how to get divorced, if He believes in marriage? Not only does He believe in marriage, He believes that you should be married, and He wants you to be married to the person you are married to.

Why, then, does He allow you to get divorced? Not only allows it, but tells you how to do it?

As with all G‑d’s instructions in the Torah, getting divorced is a mitzvah, a divine commandment. In fact, His instructions on divorce are very explicit. But why?

Because, having said what His instructions for marriage are, G‑d doesn’t abandon you when you get in trouble. What If You Mess Up? What divorce teaches about marriage By Manis Friedman